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Disney Super-Heroes -- Glitterin' Goldie

There once was an online role-playing site where Disney characters were played as super-heroes and villains. Although Fantasmic Dreams is no more, I thought that the characters I'd created, along with some who never saw the light of day, should be preserved for posterity. Let's look at Glitterin' Goldie, who appeared in Duck Tales:

Real Name: Goldie O'Gilt

Alias: Gilded Lily

Age: Never ask a lady

Species: Duck

Sex: All woman

Nationality: Canadian

Alignment: Can't decide

Status: Semi-Retired

Physical Description: Goldie was a rare beauty in her day, and even as a senior citizen with her blonde curls turned gray, she can still glitter with the best of 'em. Her blue eyes, long lashes, and sultry voice all add to Goldie's allure, and her typical duck features -- white feathers, pear-shaped body, webbed feet, etc. -- are in very good condition for her age.

Appearance: Gilded Lily wears an off-the-shoulder gown with opera gloves and a white lily emblem. She loves gold, and typically dons a tiara, necklace, and bracelets as part of her costume.

Appearance (Outside of Costume): For practicality, Goldie favors buckskins or flannels. But whenever there are others around, she quickly gussies up in her finest silks and satins.

Abilities and Powers: Gilded Lily possesses the Golden Touch, the ability to turn whatever she touches with her hand(s) into gold. Unfortunately, it isn't true gold, only an unknown golden-colored metal with no real value, although similar in weight and consistency to actual gold.

Unlike the legendary King Midas, Goldie can control her power so as not to turn things to gold accidentally. She herself is immune to its effects.

One touch transforms an entire object, unless it is larger than her limit of one megahex (about nine feet in diameter). Thus, she could touch a car and turn it, lock, stock and upholstery, into gold. If she touched a Mac truck, however, only a section approximately equal to her limit would transform.

A living being so transformed would be unable to move, see, or speak, his clothes and all accessories turned into a golden statue. It may be possible for said victim to think, however.

Weaknesses: Her Golden Touch wears off in about an hour, returning the victim or object to normal. It has no effect on liquids or gasses.

Personally speaking, Goldie also has a weakness for--what else? Gold!

Accessories: She is rarely without a gun secreted somewhere on her person: a revolver down her corset, a derringer in her garter, etc.

Because she requires reading glasses, her mask contains magnifying lenses in the eyeholes.

Character Information (Personality & Motivation): Goldie's love of and desire for the finer things in life -- especially gold!-- led her at a young age to bend the law when it suited her needs. Living in the lawless frontier made it very easy to graduate to petty theft, then cheating at cards, then swindling, until she became a full-fledged criminal.

Goldie can be sweet as pie, but she has a hair-trigger temper that can result in pants full of buckshot for those unlucky enough to say the wrong thing. She has honed flirtation to a fine art at which she excells, and is not above vamping a foe to vanquish him.

Unlike Scrooge, Goldie is not a miser and spends money freely, having run through several fortunes in her lifetime.

Secret Origin:

Goldie O'Gilt was named for her golden curls. She developed a fascination for gold at an early age which grew into almost an obsession. She was only a teen when she began to cheat and steal in order to fuel that desire. Life on the Canadian frontier suited her well, as there were fewer lawmen to hamper her, and one often met prospecters with their pockets full of newly-dug ore. Goldie capitalized on her beauty and flirtatious ways as a torch singer, supplementing her income by swindling many a miner out of his fortune.

When she robbed a young Scot named Scrooge, however, Goldie picked on the wrong duck. He forced her to work his claim to pay him back, which led to a strong mutual attraction and a desire to go straight.

Since Scrooge left her over a misunderstanding, the Belle of the Yukon has hovered between right and wrong, never remaining in one camp for very long before 'reforming' once again.

While exploring deep in a mine, Goldie encountered a strange gas that had the unexpectd effect of granting her a super-power: the golden touch. If the objects she touched turned to actual gold, all would've been well. But, no, it was only fool's gold, not the thing to satisfy her gold fever. So Goldie used her touch to commit even bigger crimes, now in the guise of Gilded Lily. And when she made Canada too hot to hold her, she sneaked across the border into the US, eventually landing, by coincidence, she told herself, in Duckburg, where she both hopes and fears to reunite with Scrooge.

Will true love lead her to give up her life of crime? Or will Scrooge's gold become her next target? Only time will tell.

Disney Super-Heroes -- Panchito

There once was an online role-playing site where Disney characters were played as super-heroes and villains. Although Fantasmic Dreams is no more, I thought that the characters I'd created, along with some who never saw the light of day, should be preserved for posterity. Let's look at Panchito from The Three Caballeros:

El Tirador (Sharpshooter)

Civilian Identity: Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero Gonzalez Pistoles

Age: 29

Species: Anthropomorphic Rooster

Sex: Male

Nationality: Mexican

Alignment: Chaotic Good--well, pretty good, anyway

Group Affiliation: The Three Caballeros

Appearance: For super-heroing, El Tirador wears his old rodeo costume, which is pretty much the same as his ordinary clothes, only fancier. For secret-identity purposes, he has added a mask, and he never goes anywhere without his six-guns.

Abilities and Powers: Although he has no actual powers, El Tirador is a crack shot with a pistol. He can ride a bucking bronco, rope a wild mustang, and perform rodeo-style tricks, besides being lightning-fast on the draw. He is a very fine bullfighter, high-diver, and lucha libre wrestler. He also possesses a beautiful tenor singing voice.

Weaknesses: El Tirador's greatest weakness is for the ladies. He can't resist a fetching female, to the point of being easily misled by any femme fatale.

Panchito is not a heavy thinker, preferring action to intellectual pursuits. He has a simple way of looking at life and its problems, but he is certainly not stupid, and could learn a lot more if he had the patience.

Accessories: Thanks to Gyro Gearloose, a friend of his amigo Donald, Panchito has added to his ever-present pistolas a variety of specialty bullets that create electric blasts, gas clouds, nets, sonic disruptions, and, his personal favorite, explosive pellets, among other things.

He also carries a magic flying serape that responds to his thoughts.

El Tirador has the unexplained ability to store and carry any number of objects in his pockets, under his hat, or even behind his back and to pull them out whenever needed.

Secret Origin: Panchito has had many adventures in his life, having tried his hand at everything from bullfighting to bounty hunting to lucha libre wrestling. While cliff-diving in Acapulco, he met an American film student named Donald and a bored rich kid named José, and an instant friendship was formed that even years of separation could not weaken.

When a cattle drive brought Panchito near to the Texas border, he was consumed with a desire to see his amigo Donald in America. Sneaking across the border, he made his way to Duckburg, only to find that mild-mannered Donald Duck had become what the Americanos called a super-hero. That looked like great fun to Panchito, and the secret identity thing would help him evade deportation.

So he created the persona of El Tirador, the Masked Maverick from Mexico! It didn't take long for the pair to send for José, and together they became the crime-fighting cadre known as The Three Caballeros!

Disney Super-Heroes -- Don Karnage

There once was an online role-playing site where Disney characters were played as super-heroes and villains. Although Fantasmic Dreams is no more, I thought that the characters I'd created, along with some who never saw the light of day, should be preserved for posterity. Here is that Scourge of the Skies, Don Karnage:

Ice Pirate

Civilian Identity: Don Esteban Rodolfo Raoul Karnage

Age: Thirty-something

Species: Anthropomorphic Wolf

Sex: Male

Nationality: Italian

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Group Affiliation: Leader of a band of air pirates

Appearance: Ice Pirate dresses in a swashbuckling style. His captain's uniform sports a double row of bright brass buttons, epaulets, and a snazzy red sash, all details that make him feel important. When using his ice powers, Karnage's skin and fur turn bright blue.

Abilities and Powers: Ice Pirate can fire blasts from his hands that can freeze a man solid. He can use his power to make simple ice objects, such as a wall or an ice-ball, and he can fire small icicles at his opponents. Plus, he is immune to cold and absolutely sure-footed on ice or snow.

Karnage is also an able pilot and swordsman.

Weaknesses: Heat and fire nullify his powers. And he's not as smart as he thinks he is.

Accessories: Ice Pirate always carries a cutlass, and sometimes a pistol.

Secret Origin: As told by my magnificent self, Don Karnage

Once upon a long time ago, one of the finest families in Europe achieved their finest moment: I was born.

I was a beautiful little baby and a child prodigy, who grew up to be a brilliant and handsome young man. Everybody who knew him loved him. And even those who did not know him loved him, for they wished that they could know him and love him even more so. Anyway...

When this magnificent fellow finally after such a long time of many years waiting and waiting finally inherited the family estate and title (what did you think, that 'Don' is short for 'Donald?'), he found that the money is almost all gone away! Wasted by his parents on their own foolish wishes and desires!

The silly lawyer-type persons said to live simply and stop spending so much. But a man must have the necessities of life, like caviar and silk shirts and private airplanes.

So, what is a fellow to do? He finds a way to get the things he needs. If he is the world's greatest pilot and swordsman, then he becomes an air pirate.

That is just what he did! And the Dread Pirate Don Karnage became the Scourge of the Skies, gathering a band of fearsome pirates to--what do you mean, "Hurry it up?" All right, all right! Do not get your silly knickers all twisted up in a tangle!

Skipping over the very exciting story of my early years of plundering, we come to the day the big rock from outer space came crashing down--boom!--outside of Cape Suzette. Thinking it might be valuable, of course I led my crew to the spot.

Oh, yes, this was a very, very valuable glowing rock. It gave me super-duper powers! And my cutthroat crew as well. Now, Don Karnage is Ice Pirate, the even more terrifying Scourge of the Skies, who, with his band of super-powered pirates strikes frozen fear into the frightened hearts of the fearful--what? Running out of space?

All right, all right, andheplunderedhappilyeverafter. The end.

Disney Super-Heroes -- Basil of Baker Street

There once was an online role-playing site where Disney characters were played as super-heroes and villains. Although Fantasmic Dreams is no more, I thought that the characters I'd created, along with some who never saw the light of day, should be preserved for posterity. The first, of course, was Basil of Baker Street:

Justice, The Cloaked Cavalier

Civilian Identity: Basil Chatsworth Bassington

Age: 26

Species: Mouse

Sex: Male

Nationality: British

Alignment: Lawful Good

Group Affiliation: Although he may form some temporary allegiances, Justice is basically a loner

Appearance: The Cloaked Cavalier is a gentleman adventurer: he wears evening dress consisting of black coat and trousers, white shirtfront, and black tie, topped with a hat and his eponymous flowing black cloak. He hides his identity behind a mask of black silk and wears gloves to prevent telltale fingerprints.

Abilities and Powers: Justice has no true super-power, but is an excellent swordsman with a genius IQ, and an expert at observation and deduction, as well as a master of disguise.

Weaknesses: Justice has natural manic-depressive tendencies, a crushing ego, and a dislike of children. He is sometimes lacking in social skills and can become carried away with scientific curiosity or a mystery to the point of rudeness, though it is not generally intentional.

Accessories: The Cloaked Cavalier wields a light sword, which he can use quite skillfully. He also keeps a magnifying lens handy, along with some burglary tools discreetly secreted upon his person.

Secret Origin: As a boy, Basil had a phenomenal eye for detail, taking note of everything around him and making deductions from all he observed. When he realised this ability might be a useful tool in fighting crime, his life's course was set.

He focused all his considerable energies and great brain toward the defeat of criminals as a private consulting detective. But the same law that served to punish evil-doers too often hampered him in his investigations. Thus was born Justice, The Cloaked Cavalier, a daring adventurer who, though working to uphold the law was not hindered by its petty details. With a mask to preserve his incognito, Basil began a double life; though the more conventional agents of the law did not always trust him, Basil meted out his own brand of, ahem, justice to criminals all over the Empire.

The Best Jack McGee Episodes of The Incredible Hulk

If you're a Jack McGee fan, like me, you know that some episodes of The Incredible Hulk tv series are better at showcasing our favorite reporter than others. These are the best of the best for McGee fans:

• Mystery Man: McGee and Banner strike up an unlikely, if temporary friendship, and Jack learns that the Hulk is really a man who transforms.
• Prometheus: Jack displays his investigative skills and stick-to-it-ivity infiltrating a secret government complex.
• The Hulk Breaks Las Vegas: Jack interacts with some friends for a change and tries to communicate with the Creature for the first time.
• Equinox: McGee never gets closer to seeing John Doe's face than in this episode.
• Proof Positive: Jack takes the spotlight, revealing tidbits about his personal life in the process.
• Stop the Presses: McGee shows his ethical side. And shoots himself in the leg.

More Jack McGee...

The Incredible Jack McGee -- An Episode Guide

If you're like most people of a certain age, you tuned in to The Incredible Hulk every week to see what the Creature would smash this episode. Some, no doubt, also watched the show to catch David's transformation and surname of the week. But there were a few who knew the real reason to view the series: Jack McGee. The intrepid reporter didn't appear in every episode, but he kept things lively, forcing Banner to come up with ever-more-creative methods for dodging exposure.

This episode guide is for McGee-lovers everywhere.

The Incredible Hulk pilot

Intrepid reporter Jack McGee makes multiple requests to gain an interview with scientists David Banner and Elaina Marks for The National Register, a cheap, sensationalist newspaper beneath his talents. The scientists are studying human strength enhancement, but they refuse to grant him an interview. Jack even visits Dr. Marks's home, though it does him no good. When Dr. Banner's car is found smashed in a ditch, McGee investigates and finds enormous footprints at the scene. He further interviews a man and his young daughter who report an encounter with a 7-foot hulking greenish creature. McGee confronts Banner and Marks with a plaster cast of the prints, but they deny any knowledge of the Hulk. Convinced that the scientists are hiding something, McGee sneaks into their lab to learn more, finding evidence that the Creature had been there. Banner returns and finds Jack there, escorting the reporter outside just before the building explodes and McGee is knocked senseless. He comes to just in time to get his first look at the Hulk, which emerges from the blaze carrying Dr. Marks. McGee tries to find Dr. Banner, but it's impossible to enter the inferno. Dr. Marks is later found dead; Banner's body is never found at all. Jack makes it his mission to track down the Hulk and learn the true story of the Creature. More...

Take the Quiz -- The Superman/Aquaman Adventure Hour Theme Song

Can you name all the lyrics to that great old theme song from the Superman/Aquaman Adventure Hour cartoon? Try it and see. More...

Take the Quiz: The Incredible Hulk Opening Narration

Can you name all the words in the opening narration to the classic TV series The Incredible Hulk? Take the quiz to find out. More...

For the Super-Hero Geek Who Has Everything

Do you know anybody who is geeky about super-heroes? They will think these are the best gifts ever! More...

PVC Figures: Best. Collectible. Ever!

For variety, affordability, and just plain adorability, you can't beat collecting PVC figures. Whether your tastes run to Disney, Super-Heroes, Star Wars, or some other genre, you can always find figures to suit. More:

Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes: a Comic Strip

I don't know the name of the creator of this comic, but the original can be found on the Where's My Sammich website. More...

Comic Book Quiz: The Legion of Super-Pets

How well do you remember the DC comic? Take the quiz to find out. More...

Too Good to Delete!

There are so many images found online that are worth keeping. Here is a Pinterest board dedicated to those images, an ecclectic collection with nothing in common except their worthiness to be preserved forever for posterity. More...

Wastin' Time Online: The Hero Machine

Design your own super-hero costume, choosing from dozens of accessory templates. More...

Take the Inferior Five Quiz

How well do you remember DC's super-hero parody comic book The Inferior 5? Take this quiz to find out. More...

Disney Villains -- Yokai

Learn more about Disney's latest animated villain, Yokai from Big Hero 6:

Occupation: college professor, inventor
Henchmen: none
Crimes: arson, attempted murder, grand theft, kidnapping, destruction of private property, child endangerment, trespassing
Motive: revenge
Blood type: AB negative

"Was my daughter a setback?" More...

Action Figures & Dolls For Sale

Where can you find super heroes, Disney, Star Wars, Star Trek and more of your favorite characters immortalized in articulated plastic? Here at Whatsits Galore. Whether you want to relive childhood memories of cherished toys or start a collection of the latest movie or TV characters, Whatsits Galore has action figures to suit every taste. Some are in boxes, some on cards, some loose, but all are way cool collectibles. Collect 'em, display 'em, but don't admit you still play with 'em!

All measurements are approximate. Most quantities are extremely limited, so don't delay! More...

Comic Books & Magazines For Sale

Up, up and away! Comics are a part of everyone's childhood (and many people's adulthood). Enjoy the exploits of your favorite super heroes and villains or discover new heroes to root for with these four-color collectibles. Whether you love Marvel or DC, Batman or Spider-man, let Whatsits Galore help you complete your comic book collection. More...

Disney Characters as Super-Heroes?

You can not only create your own Disney character/super-heroes, but also role-play them at the Fantasmic Dreams/Dream League site. More...