Free Comedy Skit: Turkey Shoot

Enliven your Thanksgiving celebration with a short comedy skit about four women on a hunt for their turkey dinner. Here is an excerpt:

Arabella: Getting up early is one thing, but did we have to come all the way out here to the wilderness?

Pearl: What wilderness? It's a five-minute walk back to the Seven-Eleven where I parked my car.

Dee Dee: Did you pick up some snacks while you were there? I forgot to eat breakfast.

Myrtle: Don't worry, many parts of a pine tree are edible.

Arabella: Well, I say it's primitive. I mean, look at this floor! It looks like its never been swept.

Pearl: It's dirt. We call it "the ground." Besides, I told you we'd be roughing it.

Arabella: Roughing it? What, the rest rooms aren't clean?

Dee Dee: Rest rooms? Honey, out here, the ladies' room is a Douglas fir.

Arabella: You don't mean...?

Dee Dee: That's right. Just take any tree that isn't occupied. More...

Taking Back Thanksgiving

It's time for the annual half-day celebration of Thanksgiving, also known as pre-Christmas, where Americans give thanks for the opportunity to shop for the next holiday. That is, if they have time.

When did Thanksgiving become so unimportant that it only deserves six hours of acknowledgement? Answer: when retailers realized that they can't make a whole lot of money out of it.

And when did we start to allow retail stores to dictate our actions? Probably about the same time we began to allow the news media to dictate public opinion. More...

How NOT to Spend Thanksgiving

Every year, more and more businesses open on Thanksgiving Day. I'm not talking about hospitals, of course, or nursing homes; these vital services must be staffed 24/7. But what about the non-essential retail trade, staffed by hard-working, low-paid employees who have families and lives outside of work just like everybody else.

But these employees are quickly losing the few holidays they are allowed to enjoy. Independence Day is long gone, and New Year's Day? Not a chance. Now it's Thanksgiving that's under attack, rapidly diappearing from their calendars because CEOs in offices somewhere are trying to squeeze every last nickel out of the public. how many of these executives are working themselves on tHanksgiving day? Don't be funny; they're home with their families or visiting relatives, and never mind those under them who are prevented from doing the same.

But you, the public can do something about it. You can stay out of the stores on Thanksgiving. You can hit them in their one vulnerable spot: the wallet. Don't darken their retail doors for even a minute, not even to buy "just one thing." Your five minutes in the store makes a dozen clerks pull a seven-, eight-, or nine-hour shift.

So, please, give to those who spend 362 days out of the year serving you something to be thankful for: give them back their Thanksgiving holiday. Don't go shopping! They will thank you for it next year.