Divorce, Hillbilly Style -- A Short Comedy Skit

Meet a backwoods couple who can't decide whether to get married or un-married. Here is an excerpt:

CAST: 2 men, 1 woman

Here is an excerpt:

Arabella: You call that a birthday present? You'd have plenty o' money fer a present if'n you didn't waste it on a new huntin' knife fer yourself!

Clem: I had to. You ruined the last one, usin' it to slice up biscuits with.

Judge: Now, Clem, slicin' biscuits ain't a-gonna do a knife no harm.

Clem: You ever eat her biscuits, Judge? It's like chewin' gravel.

Arabella: Maybe it wouldn't be if'n you had more'n one tooth.

Judge: Does you want a dee-vorce, too, Arabella?

Arabella: I shore does. He kin cook his own vittles an' wash his own long winter woolies fur as I'm concerned.

Judge: Well, I never done a dee-vorce before. But, I figger if'n a judge kin marry a body, he kin dis-marry 'em just as well. Clem, does you take this here woman to be your ex-wife?

Clem: I does. Er...should I say 'doesn't?' More...