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Monday, August 15, 2016

Pick-A-Princess -- A Short Comedy Skit

How can a prince find his true love? Leave it to Mom to choose a bride. Here is an excerpt:

CAST: 1 man, 6 women

Cinderella: I'm not a scrubwoman. I'm Cinderella. And this audience hall is filthy! I'll just tidy it up a bit, but you really need to speak to your chambermaids.

Queen: Never mind about that. Did you come here to marry a prince or to clean house?

Cinderella: Sure, I'd like to marry a prince, but old habits die hard. Tell me, is your son tidy? I'd hate to marry a slob.

Queen: What difference does it make? My son's wife won't need to worry about that. We have plenty of servants to do housework.

Cinderella: I've seen the kind of job your palace servants do. It's disgraceful! No, if you want a job done right, do it yourself, that's my motto. And I don't need to spend my life picking up dirty doublets and hose for a man who can't find the clothes hamper. Or washing an endless supply of goblets because he takes a clean one every five minutes. Does he leave his sword and shield lying around the castle? An untidy room shows an untidy mind, I always say.

Wilhelmina: Too bad Mr. Clean is already spoken for.

Cinderella: I do want to get married so badly, Your Majesty. You don't know what it's like at home. They treat me like dirt. As soon as I heard you had an eligible prince, I caught the first northbound pumpkin, and here I am.

Rapunzel: I think she's been using bleach in an unventilated room.

Queen: All right, Cindy, I think we'll move on to the next candidate. But if we ever need a housekeeper, we'll keep you in mind.

Cinderella: Okay, but just remember, I have to leave by midnight. More...

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